she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
