i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
