Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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