So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
