What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
