Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
