arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
