fuck your aforementioned shoe
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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