You made me cry and you don't even care
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
