Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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