Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
