mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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