thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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