If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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