If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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