cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Damn victory sex feels great
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
