We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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