oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
And then he peed in my hair
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