Kiss
Puke
She even gives head with a lisp.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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