I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
