I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
