I feel great
I just peed on a car
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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