I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
