yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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