Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
