he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
