and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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