Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
