so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Holy shit dude........stairs
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
