Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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