I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
