What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That accounts for only three of the penises
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
