Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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