she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
