508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
