yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
