I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
