What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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