No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
