You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
