wanna go halves on a baby?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
