i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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