I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
