Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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