Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
