We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just had sex bonerless
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
