so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
