Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
