literally had 100 drinks last night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
