So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
