I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
