Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
