i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
