so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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