Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
God, I missed his penis.
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