a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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