my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
