Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
