ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
