I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
