i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
