I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
