it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
