he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
