My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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