Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
