it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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