im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
