I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize